I do try (very occasionally) to be reflective and ask myself if what I'm putting out on social media, mostly Twitter, is really helpful, does it make a difference, am I just virtue signalling and making myself feel better?
Do my tweets have any effect on the behaviour of, say, Donald Trump or Harvey Weinstein? No. Of course not. Except in the miniscule way they might contribute to reaching some kind of critical (in both senses of the word) mass, but if that was the only benefit it wouldn't be worth my time. What I hope they might do is help anyone who sees them who is in a situation where bullying is happening. That's what sets me off, triggers me if you like. I hate bullies. They are reprehensible cowards, across the board.
To start with, let's just clear a couple of things up. I have seen, on Facebook (that was my mistake), the witless argument "well bullying is good in poker, so why not in life?". To paraphrase Samuel L. Jackson, context motherfucker, have you heard of it? Similarly I have seen people write things like "well you play poker, how can you complain about exploiting people?".
There's nothing wrong with a competitive instinct (when properly channelled). Most of us, myself included, enjoy a contest. A battle of wits, for example poker, or a battle of wits and physicality, like cricket, or if you prefer boxing/MMA. There's nothing wrong with a contest provided a) it's a fair contest and b) everyone involved agrees to play. It's also good if there are structures in place to keep things from being too one-sided - league systems in cricket or weight divisions in boxing. But that's not absolutely necessary, poker doesn't really have that, except in terms of the level of the stakes, to a degree.
The point is that it's a fair game and everyone's consented to play. If I play cricket and some fast bowler cleans me up because he's fitter, stronger and too quick for me, fair enough. I'd hope that over time he'd progess through teams/leagues and play at a higher level than me, but on the day, them's the breaks. What happens through the rules and accepted practice of the game is fine. Going back to poker, if you "bully" me by betting and raising and forcing me out of pots, that's fine, even if it's because you have a deeper stack, it's up to me to be mentally strong enough to make correct decisions. It is *not* fine to "bully" me by saying "you'd better fucking fold when I raise or I'll see you in the car park". Another boneheaded point I've seen made on Twitter is "You Lefties think everything's about consent". Yes! We do! BECAUSE IT IS.
Taking Trump as the archetypal bully, people who work for him have signed up to do a job and be paid for it - not to be berated, belittled and harassed. Contractors who deal with him have signed up to a contract both parties agreed on, not to be stiffed and battered into submission by teams of lawyers. Contestants in reality shows or beauty pageants he's "judging" haven't signed up to be groped or ogled by him. And while this is somewhat more galling because Trump hasn't earned any of his power or privilege, even if he had built his way up from nothing with hard work and intelligence, it still wouldn't be acceptable.
If you make a pass at someone who works for you, you're playing a game that's not fair and that the other party hasn't consented to. If you hassle someone in public who's minding their own business because you're a jerk but you're bigger than them so you can, same thing, or a dozen other examples. If any perpetrators come across my views and I can let them know I think they're a pathetic coward, they might stop to think that others around them have had enough of their shit too. If any victims read me, I can let them know I've got their back and hopefully there are others around them who will have their back too. If I can do that, it might help.
And it makes me feel better.
Postscript
Serendipitously enough, the FA have just apologised to England Women players who had to suffer racist remarks from coach Mark Sampson. The exact same point applies. These players were not in a position to answer back or smack him one because of the power he held over their careers. Even complaining through the proper channels risked adversely affecting their careers. Playing for England represented a huge difference for them in terms of pay and prestige, and Sampson decided who played for England.
Mark Sampson is a coward who abused his position to bully black players. He should have been sacked for it IMO. Maybe he was, but the FA fudged it through another form of cowardice. At least he has now gone and the players concerned have an apology, for all the good it will do them. Other members of the squad who mobbed Sampson on scoring a goal in the next game should have a look at themselves as well.
